All That Mattered
by enakoritsi
Summary: There was no one left…no one left who mattered…no one left he mattered too... He was getting Roxas back, and that was all that mattered anymore.


_Author's Note_: This is just another Axel-thought-thing. However, he actually does move around and things this time, and there are also some flashbacks with Roxas so I hope it makes it a bit more interesting. I just started writing this instead of doing my homework...I'll regret it later but oh well. I think this is okay, but I just liked writing it. If you like it, please review it because I would appreciate it very much. :)

I guess this could be considered AkuRoku or Axel x Roxas if you want it to be...but it's only friendship if you don't look further and come to your own conclusions. Not that I mind that, I mean you're the one reading it. If you want it to go farther than that go ahead and believe that. No problem. Maybe one day I will write something that's really AkuRoku, but I'm not sure yet. Even at my age, writing kiss scenes makes me blush like a pathetic toddler. It's quite sad :(. Oh well, if someone actually likes my writing and _wants _me to actually give it a shot, I'd have no problem with that. Just tell me in a review or something.

I also want to try writing some type of story that's not a one-shot type soon...I'm not sure though. Maybe someday I'll give it a try.

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters.

* * *

.:. _All That Mattered_ .:.

The curt sound of a snap echoed through the silence, cracking it sharply like a knife being stabbed into the a mirror's glass. Where the two gloved fingers met a small eruption of heat and light formed, dancing furiously in its confinement. The tiny flame flickered violently as it twisted and spun, and green eyes watched the performance with a glazed over look.

The man lifted his flaming fingers up towards his face, opening his enter hand so the drops of fire grew into a blazing ball in the center of his palm. The miniature sun crackled and hissed, and lips curved into a cynical smile before slowly fading into a frown. The hand clenched into a fist, and the fire chocked out and died, leaving only a thin trail of gray smoke.

Axel lifted his bowed head and stared defiantly out towards the sunset. The soothing pink and orange sky would've made his heart ache if he possessed one, but instead his emerald eyes just darkened a shade. He moved forward with soundless steps and grasped the railing in front of him tightly, the skin of his hands stretching tautly over his knuckles from the intensity. He lowered his head slowly, a few strands of fiery hair falling into his face as he closed his eyes.

This was the second time today Axel had come to this spot, but this time he was alone. Earlier, he had escorted Namine away from this hilltop and freed her to wander the world as she wished. That cloaked man had kindly let them go, but Axel had wanted to return one more time; alone. So he had, and now he didn't know what to do.

What could he do now? Where could he go? Axel clenched his teeth and his lips pulled back in a twisted expression that distorted his features. There was no one left…no one left who mattered…no one left he mattered too.

Axel lifted one of his hands, twisting it so the black glove fell to the ground softly. He placed his uncovered hand on his chest, pressing it into the skin underneath which a heart should have been. His nails dug into the leather material fiercely, almost tearing through, as he wished so desperately there was a heartbeat to reassure him.

Nothing made sense. How could he be having these thoughts, these feelings that were only memories? Why was his mind tricking him into thinking he had a felt a friendship that hadn't existed, and why were his eyes burning with a sensation he remembered as the coming of tears?

The catlike eyes opened, and the hand fell lifelessly back to his side, drifting through the air before coming to a stop. Axel removed his gloved hand from the rail and stood up straight, watching as the sun sank even lower, causing the colors to grow darker. The rosy pinks became somber purples, and the bright oranges became bloody reds. It seemed like a strange sign; the time of happiness was fading and only horror lay ahead.

A chuckle brewed in Axel's throat, tumbling out of his mouth before it formed into a taunting smirk. Oh yes, happiness, as if he had ever felt it. As if he ever could… or would. The next second, Axel could feel the heat burning through his fingers uncontrollably, and he had the urge to set the whole of Twilight Town aflame. The feeling of hopelessness and emptiness that actually was his being seemed to grow tenfold, and it was swallowing him up and chewing him to pieces. He couldn't take it, couldn't accept it, and yet there was nothing he could do.

There was simply nothing left.

* * *

"Axel." 

Axel turned his head as his name was uttered by a cold voice. His sharp gaze narrowed on long, blue hair and yellow eyes that shone cruelly. Axel crossed his arms antisocially as Saix approached him, his lip curling in distaste that the other man expressed equally with his own glare.

"What do you want?" Axel asked heatedly, raising one eyebrow as the Nobody came to a halt in front of him. Saix graced him with a contemptuous look that put his own opinion of the pyromaniac on the table.

" Superior wants you to go talk to the new member," Saix spoke in his dull monotone. "He seems to be having difficulty adjusting." Axel scoffed and turned to the side, glaring at the Nobody who he constantly reminded was only one level higher up than himself.

"If the kid's having so much _difficulty_, why don't you-"

"This is not a request Axel. It is an order."

Saix gave him a smug look before returning to his precious Superior like a dog on a leash. Axel growled lowly before letting out a sigh and running his fingers through his spiky red hair. He didn't really mind helping the new member get comfortable, especially since it was his first day, but Xemnas knew what he was doing by having_ that_ one give the message.

Axel summoned a portal to the other end of the castle and stepped into the purple and black depths. He didn't want to risk another encounter with that scarred annoyance.

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Axel knocked on the youngest Nobody's door boredly, leaning against the wall while he waited for it to open. After a few seconds, the door swung open harshly, and a blonde head poked out viciously. It looked around for the source of the noise before its blue eyes finally focused on the Nobody who had been watching him with an amused smirk.

"What do you want?" The boy who Axel knew was named Roxas asked rudely, keeping his hand securely on the doorknob for a chance to slam it shut again. Axel pushed himself off the wall with a grunt and stood before the boy at his full height, impressed that he didn't appear intimidated.

" _Superior_," Axel began with a note of distain in his tone. "Asked me to help you settle in-"

"I don't need your help," Roxas interrupted harshly, swinging his arm in order to shut the door in the redhead's face. However, Axel's hand shut out and caught the edge of the door, stopping it in mid arch while Roxas looked at him with an expression of surprise and anger.

"Did I say asked? I meant ordered," Axel stated while forcing the door back open. He strode into the kid's room purposefully, all the while feeling Roxas' glaring gaze on his back.

"Name's Axel, got it memorized? I guess I'm supposed to say something nice here, right?" Axel looked at Roxas over his shoulder, watching as the frustrated look in his face faded slightly but were still noticeable.

"Too bad there's nothing nice about this place."

* * *

Axel wondered for a moment if he was in the wrong; if wanting his friend to return to a state of pointlessness was, ironically, heartless. He lived a life that was empty and forsaken, and his best friend had escaped it. How could he be so angry, remembering such emotions of betrayl and fury? Shouldn't he be happy for Roxas, content with the fact that he had managed to make his life have some meaning? Any decent person would wish their friend the best, even if they themselves could not have it. 

Maybe the fact then was that Axel _wasn't_ a decent person.

Axel watched as the sky darkened once more, blue and inky darkness taking over the shyer colors with a hostile demand. He went over his life's actions in his head, shifting through the vivid memories one by one, trying to ascertain whatever it was he wanted to discover.

He remembered the cunning way he had twisted himself into Larxene's and Marluxia's trust, pretending perfectly to be on their side while all along he had been working towards their downfall.

He recalled how the cold steel of his chakrams had shone before embedding themselves in Vexen's flesh and the way the elder member had begged for his mercy.

He could still feel the heat from setting the Nobody aflame.

Axel thought back to the way he had messed with the keyblade masters head, giving him riddles that had no answers and taunted the fears that gripped the boy's heart.

He could even visualize the wide, frightened look in Zexion's eyes when he had tricked the replica into killing him.

Letting the stream of reminiscences fade back into his head, Axel decided that he truly was a detestable person. He killed others for personal gain, reveled in the mental torture and bewilderment he caused his victims, and found sadistic pleasure in even his comrades' misfortune.

And now he was selfishly clinging on to the one person he couldn't let go.

* * *

"Come on kid," Axel instructed, forming a portal and heading towards it with a wave in the younger boy's direction. Roxas looked at the swirling vortex of color warily before stepping toward it tentatively. 

"Where are we going?" He asked cautiously; distrust flickered through his face while Axel just rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you when my _mission_ is to get you to like the place," Axel explained condescendingly with an entertained smirk, talking to Roxas as if he were a child. Roxas noticed, giving Axel a less than friendly glare before stomping headfirst into the portal without anymore delay. Watching the new member disappear into the smoky darkness, Axel let out a faint laugh before following.

He wasn't so bad.

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"This is…" Roxas muttered in a dreamy tone, staring up at the gigantic yet elegant clock tower that stood in front of him.

"Yeah, this is where Xemnas found you; Twilight Town," Axel clarified, walking forward until he was next to Roxas, who still appeared speechless.

"This is where I come from," he whispered, seemingly enthralled with the very prospect. Axel shrugged, finding it slightly disinteresting but not wanting to ruin the blonde's moment of discovery.

"Hey," he said, pushing Roxas on the shoulder lightly to jolt him out of his trance. Axel jerked a finger towards the tower and smirked. "Want to go up?"

A few seconds later and the two Nobodies were seated comfortably on the ledge of the tower. Roxas' feet were dangling over the edge while his face glowed as he took in the rooftops of the town. Axel had one knee drawn up to his chest with his chin resting on it lazily, also noticing the view with just a bit less enthusiasm.

No words were exchanged as the pair sat in a comfortable silence. Twilight Town was a strange place. It was quiet, a sleepy little collection of houses and people that never seemed to change. There didn't seem to be any drive, any rush; it was like the place was lost in its own time and caught in a standstill. Somehow, it was both comforting and eerie at the same time.

"Hey, Axel."

Axel moved his head to where Roxas sat and saw the boy looking at him, for the first time with pleasant features.

"Yeah?" He asked casually, noticing how innocent and young Roxas looked when he wasn't radiating anger and confusion. It was startling. Roxas smiled slightly, the corners of his lips turning upwards in a peaceful way.

"Thank you."

* * *

Fed up with his surroundings, Axel gave the place a disgusted look before forming a portal to escape with. As the darkness whisked him away, he let it reform around the world he focused on in his mind. He wasn't exactly sure why he wanted to go there, but for some reason Axel could tell he would be there. Maybe it was the remnants of the friendship he was still clinging to, but with a hardening in his features Axel found that unlikely. 

He stepped out onto the blue cliffs of Hollow Bastion with a quick look around. The ruined castle was visible in the distance, and people who seemed as small and crushable as ants were scurrying between houses and shops. It was day here, and the sun shone brightly with a calming radiance that missed only the darkest crevices.

Stepping to the edge of the rock-laden ridge, Axel's vibrant eyes shifted over the ground below, taking in the passersby with detached interest.

"Good! Now we can settle this!"

A confident voice broke the peace, and Axel turned his head towards the sound swiftly. On a cliff to his upper right there was a collection of black-cloaked figures, which caused Axel to curse under his breath while trying to make sure they couldn't see him. Unfortunately, the dark of his cloak molded nicely into his surroundings while his brilliant colored hair did not, so he tossed his hood over his head stealth fully. Feeling a bit more invisible, he crouched low in the mass of boulders and stone wall and peered out with his sharp eyes, trying to find the owner of the bizarrely familiar voice.

A flash of spiky hair was caught in his peripheral vision, and Axel's head jolted to the side to see the face of the one who started it all.

Sora was shaking his fist at the Organization recklessly, and Axel narrowed his eyes on the brown haired teen. For a second the hair he was looking at was short and blonde, and the black clothes morphed into a long uniform robe. Axel shook his head and the vision cleared away, and Sora stood before him again, his expression one of anger and disgust.

The way Sora was acting reminded Axel of Roxas, the frustration he was conveying and the pure light that shone through even his darkest actions. Roxas had been like that…lost… but the only one who could find himself. Axel clenched his fist, watching as it shook from the pressure.

It wasn't fair.

* * *

"Why do you stay here, if it's such a horrible place?" 

Axel looked over at Roxas, who was looking up at him from his cross-legged position on his bed. Leaning comfortably against the boy's wall, Axel shrugged his shoulders at his question.

"Where else is there to go? It's not like anyone else knows how to get our hearts back," Axel stated blandly, hating the truth that was in those words. "No one really wants to be here, but it's all we've got."

Roxas nodded slowly, lowering his eyes to the hands that were twisted in his lap. For a few seconds he said nothing, and Axel took the moment to look at the face that was no longer conflicted. The false anger was gone, but it was obviously still bubbling underneath the surface. Something about Roxas was off; something unstable was brewing inside of him like a ticking time bomb. At the moment though, Roxas' face was smooth and peaceful in thought. It was strange. A few weeks of daily chats and suddenly there seemed to be a familiarity between the two, a sense of companionship.

Axel shook his head with a faint smirk. Well, at least Roxas wasn't on the verge of slaughtering him anymore.

"Hey Axel," Roxas spoke, and Axel gave him his attention with a quirk of his eyebrows. "If you had somewhere else to go, would you leave?"

For a second, Axel paused with his mouth already half open, the words on the tip of his tongue. _Of course._ But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to utter them, and for the life of him, he couldn't understand why.

The statement had a sense of foreboding, and a small voice in his head was telling him not to say it. Axel couldn't understand it. It was something understood among the members. They were connected through forced bonds, teammates only to reach their own ends. If any of them could escape to a better place, they would do it without looking back.

So why couldn't he tell Roxas that?

"No, I'd probably stay," Axel lied stiffly. Roxas turned to him with eyes of disbelief and doubt at Axel's obviously contradicting words.

"But you said-"

"Yeah, I_ know_ what I said," Axel said roughly, staring at the wall instead of Roxas' large, blue eyes. "But I joined, and you don't leave other members behind. It's called loyalty, got it memorized?"

As the words spilled from his lips, Axel was taken aback. Loyalty? Who was he kidding; the only person Axel paid any sense of duty to was himself. He'd turn his back on any of these pathetic excuses for life without a second thought, and had in fact done so numerous times.

Axel's eyes shifted over to the blonde boy, who was giving him a thoughtful, but scrutinizing gaze.

Now Axel wasn't so sure about that anymore.

* * *

Axel watched as Sora conversed with the Organization, or what was left of it. He was talking big for someone who had no idea exactly what he was dealing with. But Sora was strong, and all that remained in the Organization was a pathetic collection of fools and weaklings, led by only a leader who might be a force to be reckoned with. Of course, Sora had definitely proven himself at Castle Oblivion… 

Axel shut his eyes with disgust, just so he didn't have to see the young keyblade master anymore. So he wouldn't have to see a boy with the same weapon as Roxas…with the same eyes as Roxas...

Axel gritted his teeth and slammed his fist into the rock wall, ignoring the pain that went stinging up his arm like electricity.

He hated it.

Axel hated that the one down there got to live a full life while another had to give up his own to experience it. Axel hated how he actually wanted to go speak to the boy down there, the way he was drawing him in without knowing it. He hated the way every time he looked at the boy all he could see was Roxas.

But must of all, Axel hated that Sora's face reminded him every second, every mocking second, that he was so easy to leave behind and forget.

* * *

"You can't turn on the Organization! You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" 

Yes,_ that_ was his reason, his pathetic excuse for why Roxas couldn't leave him.

Axel stared at the Roxas' back, his jade eyes burning holes through the thick fabric and practically begging him to turn around, to come back.

_Don't leave Roxas, please don't go._

The air was heavy and thick, choking, and Axel felt as if he could barely breathe.

For a few seconds, there was only silence but finally Roxas moved, but just enough to peer at Axel over his shoulder. It was the cruelest blow Axel had ever received.

"No one would miss me," Roxas replied coldly, each word like a sharpened knife stabbing into Axel repeatedly with every syllable. He wanted to say something, to find a reason for his friend to stay. Axel's throat closed as he searched for something, anything that would make Roxas walk back. He'd do whatever it took so his friend, his best and only friend wouldn't leave his side.

Axel's limbs felt heavy and concrete; his mind felt clouded and broken. Nothing was coming to him, absolutely nothing at all. He felt like he was underwater, and there was no worse feeling in the world; especially for someone like him.

Roxas stiffened with resolve, and Axel wondered if this was it, if it was all over. Apparently, it was.

Roxas walked away, his footsteps echoing painfully in the silence he left in his wake. Axel stared after him until he could no longer see the blonde hair in the darkness.

"That's not true." Axel's fists curled upwards towards himself as he finally found the words just a little too late. He was gone, and the realization robbed Axel of his energy so his hands fell back to his sides.

"I would."

* * *

Axel stood, shaking his hood from his head and letting the long, alarming spikes fall back over his shoulders. He honestly didn't care if the Organization saw him anymore. He turned his back on the scene playing below, instead staring straight ahead while a smirk curled threateningly along his lips. Axel didn't care if it was wrong, or if he was being a horrible friend. It didn't matter if others would view him with loathing and distain, disgust, or even hate. 

Axel looked over his shoulder, the smirk turning into a snarl as Sora turned around to face his friends, the confrontation over and a smile bright on his face. He jerked his head back and summoned a portal, schemes whirling through his mind as he stepped into the overwhelming darkness.

He was getting Roxas back, and that was all that mattered anymore.


End file.
